Counting Crows latest

With Saturday nights and Sunday mornings, the Counting crows have truly out done themselves. The album is a master piece. With themes from all the other albums woven in it is no wonder it has been so many years in coming. Adam Duritz, front man and chief song writer for the Crows, seems to send an encrypted message through both the words and music of his songs. The message can only be picked up fully be a person who has done both of two things: Spent a hard night partying and having the time of their life and woken up the next day to question everything, and a person who has been a die hard fan since the beginning of Duritz’s search for meaning.

            The album is split into to distinct parts. The first half is tilted “Saturday nights.” This half is mostly upbeat and electric.  Think of Hanging round and Mr. Jones and me. In fact the catch phrase in this first song is “come again” perhaps meaning coming back to some older songs and coming back to the same Saturday night debauchery that follows each show.  Through Duritz talks of the excitement of “running to the dark Italian underground” there is a hint of sadness “where are these people who impersonate our friends?” The 2^nd song called “hanging tree” is a screaming reference to “hanging round.” Hanging round is a lyric referring to a great night out on the town, hanging tree implies that “this dizzy life” of hanging out only ends up hanging us in the end. My favorite lyrics are “I was born inside the sun this morning … and I will fall down through the sun this evening.” The third song “los angeles” is a song about all the places the Crows have gone and all the experiences they have had and once again Adam references an older hit of his with the line “if you  see that movie star and me, if you see my picture in a magazine..” This should remind all good fans of  “We all wanna be big big stars,” and  on the TV “I wanna see my face starring right back at me.” Now Duritz has found what he always wanted, or thought he wanted. We know it really has not been that great with the line “seems like each day leaves me numb.” And “I’m just trying to make some friends” a reference to again to Mr. Jones and me and wanting everyone to be his friend. Then comes the song “Sundays” you know its well past midnight and early in the A.M. on Sunday morning. Its about a euphoric experience still under the influence. The last line reads, “I don’t believe in anything at all.” In the crows first big album Adam cries “Believe in me because I don’t believe in anything at all.” Apparently with all the women he can handle, still, spiritually he has not arrived.  Insignificant, the 5^th song on the album starts with “can you see me?” A question Duritz begged about 15 years ago on another album “can you see me now?” Again nothing has changed. This song should be an anthem for anyone who has had their fill of drugs and alcohol for the night and stumbles out into the chilly night air still buzzed up with a cigarette in their months and a half smile on their lips saying, “life is still beautiful isn’t it?” Adam sings “I don’t wanna be so different.” Aberrantly referring to his early notion that “we all wanna be big big stars.” Now that he is one, he is not so sure about it. The last song on Saturday nights is that moment when you realize your stomach is upset and the party is over and you are alone. The chorus laments “this is a list of what I should have been but I’m not. This is a list of what I should have seen.” The words and bass line to an earlier hit can be heard in this song, “come on come on.” Think of the shreck sound track. “come on come on move a little closer” Ironically this song is not at about moving closer at all. Adam sings “I could look at anyone but you now” AH HA, Maria has finally shown her face. Wse know that there is “a little piece of Maria in every song.” But early on “Saturday nights” we have not seen Maria at all. This reminds me of every boy I’ve ever had to forget. Going out at night, indulging and forgetting, until the buzz wears off and I’m left in tears thinking of the only person I want to forget.

            This is where “Sunday mornings” begins. This half of the album has a totally different feel. It’s acoustic and generally down.  The first song here has the haunting line “I loved like a fountain and it left me nothing.” We can all identify with this line.  I love this song because Ryan Adam’s influence can be felt so strongly. Another great line is “time is a number that rest on a wall.” The next song “on almost any Sunday morning” for me is the new “perfect blue buildings.”  This is possibly the saddest song I’ve heard this year. You just have to hear this. “I got a little further today, wash your eyes clear of anything, make them empty circles dress yourself in black or gray…this lithium is heroin to me.”  Again we hear “gray” which we know is Duritz’s favorite color, if he knew Picasso he would “buy [him]self a gray guitar”. “when I dream of Michelangelo” Is the most blatant reference to earlier work with the music and words perfectly paralleling earlier work. This song is strangely filled with hope, where as the early Michelangelo song was not – “well I guess you left me with some feathers in my hand, didn’t make it any easier to leave you where you stand.”.  The next several songs are filled with a strange relaxed hope in the face of imminent sadness and unfulfilled desires. References to earlier work fill these songs.

The very last song is the most noteworthy on the album. The electric guitars are back and it almost feels like we are back to “Saturday night” The title “come around.” Should remind the listener of “hanging around.”  Pieces of Long December, Have You seen me Lately,  Hanging around, Round Here and of course lots of Maria can be found throughout this song. This songs seems to sum up the message of the entire life of the counting crows:

Its as if they are saying “We Wanted to be rock stars, to be famous, to make a difference, to BE LOVED, to have intimacy.  We became everything we wanted, the parties, the women, the money the sex…but none of that brought us love, fulfillment or intimacy.” This last song seems to say life can be beautiful and terrible and up and down and that is just the way it is. You can achieve everything you want and life will still be beautiful and hard and miserable. This is life. Though Duritz went from “we all wanna be big stars” in his first big hit to “I’m one of a million pieces falling on the ground.” In this last song, Nothing has changed or ever will.

            I would venture to say this will be the last we will hear from the Crows, at least for a very long time. The message is pretty clear “We have arrived, we have achieved… and life still hurts.”

            I cried all night after my first listen. The next day was more beautiful than any day before.

Codependents

Here is a break through, for me at least.

When i was young i was told i would do something great for the world. I was raised with the best of the best, the smartest kids with strong loving families. My youth leader told me i was different, i would change the world.

When i started attending mars hill i found a new calling as a follower of christ: To make the world a better place.

I want to save everyone, i feel responsible when a problem is not solved, when some one in my life is in pain or in a bad spot in life. After all, it is my job to save the world.

Today i researched codependents for the first time. This is what i put in my journal:

Maybe I make the world a better place by simply being who i am. Maybe the best gift i can give to the world is myself. becoming myself is saving me and in doing so i provide hope, inspiration and a story to a hurting world. Being me is inspiring. Being me includes helping others but does not include being a unique solution to anyone's problems. I cannot be in control of you. I cannot fix you. and now, THE TRUTH WILL SET ME FREE.

"i cannot save you, i can't even save myself"

the real world

I spend my money on them, i lose sleep thinking of ways to reach them, I stay up late creating my own hand outs above and beyond the curriculum. I set my alarm before 6 am on days i go in early to give them extra help. I stay after hours. I pray for them.

And they sleep in my class, they steal from my purse, they wad up my hand outs and throw them at me, they hit each other because one took the other's prize i gave them, they tell me i'm boring, i'm tripping, i'm wacked, i'm not a good teacher, i don't explain it well, they don't want me to show them how and they really don't give a @#%$ about high school.

Then there are those who burn me cd's, give me hugs, teach me to dance, draw me pictures, ask for extra credit, help me carry my stuff from one floor to the next, thank me for giving them a chance to pass and come in for extra help because they can't do their homework at home because they are holding down part time jobs to send money home to their families in mexico.

Today i ran out of patience, tomorrow i'll depend on something bigger than me for the strength to love them like they need to be loved

two kids came in after school...

....One had his pant leg tucked into a tether, the other kept sharing stories with the first about her most and least favorite probation officers. I thought about shutting the conversation down, but as they sat there, eating organic granola bars kelli provided for them, they really worked hard. They asked intelligent questions, they completed worksheet after worksheet of work they had missed while they skipped my class.

That was two weeks ago after i had informed them they were both failing my class. I just finished grading their 3rd marking period tests. They both get c+'s

Some kids really can change

my new life

So i've been absent in the blog world for a bit. My new job is amazing, i have so many stories to tell. But now that i'm a "professional" i'm pretty sure i'm not supposed to go around blogging about my job to any great extent on cyber space. But i will share a few things:

I see kid's lights go on in their heads every day. They say to me "oh my gosh, thats so easy, i have been trying to do that for months and now its so easy"

I've had kids hug and thank me for helping them get a D- on their exams, "I PASSED" that exclaim

I'm teaching 3 sections of a class for students who failed their first semester of algebra 1. Most of my kids are ESL (english as a second language) and i'm getting better at my spanish.

But the biggest change in my life right now is the fact then dan is graduating this spring, not next. Which means we will be packing our bags and moving as far away from GR as possible and still be in the continental USA. Yup....CALIFORNIA, HERE WE COME! This fall i will enter graduate school at the home of the Aztecs, San Diego State University and the following fall, after we establish our residency dan will also enter a master's program for his MA in education. So lets make this summer count shall we? It may be our last summer in the G rap for a VERY long time, if not ever.